bristol

Bristol bones are human

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 13:26:58 +0200

Blimey, big mystery in Bristol over the bag of human bones found by the M5 motorway.
I wonder who it is. Reggie Perrin? That chap from the Manic Street Preachers? Um...

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Hannah Saaf guilty killing Bristol boy

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 10:19:59 +0200

So Hannah Saaf has coughed to killing Bristol boy Sam Riddall by dangerous driving. At least she finally did the right thing.

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Bristol chav kicks puppy to death and does us proud

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 10:50:27 +0200

A chav has done our city really proud. Yep, this chap from Bristol kicked his puppy to death. There's a nice pic of him in a Burberry cap sitting on the steps of the magistrates court. Didn't even get jailed.

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No new Bristol Tesco store at City stadium

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:41:16 +0200

It looks like the new Bristol Tesco store at Ashton Gate might get turned down after all. Pity, I quite liked the idea of city building a brand new stadium down the road. Oh well, no World Cup for us then...

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Bristol woman dies from chemo overdose

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:19:18 +0200

What a way to go. This poor woman from Bristol goes in to hospital for cancer treatment, and dies from a chemo overdose! How the hell can that happen?

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New Midsomer Norton website

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:04:39 +0200

Check out the new website for a town called Midsomer Norton near Bristol. It's pretty cool. I know a few people there

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What cat flaps are for?

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 11:08:48 +0200

What are cat flaps for? Are they so pet cats can get in and out of the kitchen? No, they're so you can steal dogs. At least, that's what they're used for in Bristol.

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Bristol woman's car falls into house

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:10:29 +0200

Hey, is this why women shouldn't drive? Look at this Bristol woman's BMW hahahahaha

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Banksy comes home

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 09:48:05 +0200

Great news for Bristol. Banksy is putting on a show. This is just what this city needs.

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Cheers, driver. When art is mos def not art

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 12:13:42 +0200

Let's say you can afford a Mercedes. It looks good, drives well, a classy piece of German engineering. Then one day you think it would be a great idea to cover it in graffiti, and then tell the rest of the world about it. Well one guy i know in Bristol did just that.

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Air France plane

Tue, 02 Jun 2009 10:52:50 +0200

Blimey, I would never have thought that a massive disaster like the Air France A330 plane going down would affect us in Bristol.

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Weston pier rebuild could stop

Fri, 29 May 2009 11:23:26 +0200

There are times when the incompetence of local council bureaucracy just gets too much. Take this. Weston Pier burns down. The owners decide to rebuild it, as vast expense. Why? Because it is the icon of Weston, the only reason anyone goes there. Now the local council is charging them massive sums to put diggers and cranes on the beach. For God's sake give them a break

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Having nun of it

Wed, 27 May 2009 11:13:15 +0200

Why is it that Brits feel the need to go out partying in large groups, all wearing themed fancy dress, and get battered and start fighting and getting arrested? These blokes who dressed as nuns are back home in Bristol. I think they should have stayed away.

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murder trial

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 14:33:45 +0200

I see that the trial has started into the death of Joe Dymond Williams. Whatever the outcome, he will be remembered as a top bloke, very popular in Bristol. We will all miss him.

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POliceman harrassed colleague

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 15:34:12 +0200

I know the police are gettign a bad press at the moment, but here's a story about one copper in Bristol who has been done for stalking a colleague. No wonder we don't trust them anymore.

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Woman bites girl's face

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 09:28:14 +0200

Blimey, this is a nice woman from Weston-super-Mare who bit a girl's face. That's right, she bit a girl's face. Jeses

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Casualties

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 10:27:33 +0100

Dear oh dear, loads of people are getting upset about the BBC show Casualty moving from Bristol to Cardiff. Jesus, what's the difference? It will still be a bag of rubbish.

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Shop till we drop

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 12:42:36 +0100

So we're all losing our jobs, homes, wives and dignity. But that's ok, apparently we just need to go shopping at Bristol's Cabot Circus. Christ, give me strength.

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More coconuts

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 10:27:28 +0100

I see that crazy Bristol councillor who called an Asian woman a coconut is getting her party into trouble. She just needs to resign right now.

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Woman driver gets wet

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 12:11:06 +0100

This is a great story about a guy from Bristol who saved a woman who was stuck in her car in a river. I bet she was trying to reverse-park!

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Bloody hero

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 10:39:11 +0100

Well done to Chris Broad for his brave acts in Pakistan. Must have been a total nightmare. All his fans in Bristol are wishing him all the best.

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Schools in

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 10:16:21 +0100

Great news that schools in Bristol are getting more applicants from local kids. It has been a classic vicious circle. Schools start doing badly, so parents of clever kids send them on long trips out of the city, so innercity schools get worse exam results, so more middle-class parents send children further away, or even move, and so on and so on. Apparently the top third performing pupils in Bristol go to private schools or get sent to ones in neighbouring authorities.

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Somerfield closing

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 14:18:16 +0100

One of the very last businesses which employs loads of people in Bristol is finally shutting down. It was only a matter of time, i suppose. News today is that Somerfield has been formally taken over by the Co-op, which means hundreds of jobs going from Bristol to Manchester. And no-one seems to care.

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Snow joke

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 10:37:22 +0100

Finally it looks like an end to all the snow in Bristol. It was fun for a bit, but it's been more than a week and only now is it beginning to go away. Summer will soon be here folks!

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Baftas for Mamma Mia!

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 10:08:50 +0100

Oh my God I'm never going to hear the end of this. My girlfriend, mum, aunt, all the women at work, anyone or anything female, has been banging on about Mamma Mia this, Mamma Mia that, for months. I can't even bear to think about considering watching it. And now it's gone and got nominated for a Bafta..... that's it, i'm off.

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Pick that up!

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 10:30:33 +0100

If there is one, just one thing which transforms me from a pretty normal bloke into a ranting old man is all the litter on our streets. Bristol is a pretty amazing place, wonderful people, fanatastic buildings and parks, but the city is covered in crap, and the idiots who drop it should be pushed into the Bristol Channel.

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lager lager lager

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 10:41:07 +0100

We often like to laugh at the antics people in other countries get up to. We often think that Americans, for example, are stupid, or that Russians are always drunk. Well here's someone that we in Bristol, England can truly be proud of - a man who gave beer to his dog and then beat it up. And he's pretty much got away with it. It makes me want to emigrate, but where to?

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Another cyclist hit

Mon, 05 Jan 2009 13:12:29 +0100

oh dear, bad news to report that yet another cyclists has suffered multiple injuries after being involved in a road accident in Bristol. I used to want to ride a motorbike, but kept getting put off by news reports of bikers being killed almost every day. Now it seems cyclists are in just as much danger.

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Sales

Mon, 29 Dec 2008 10:08:44 +0100

No i won't. No, i jolly well won't. I won't spend what miserable few days i have left of 2008 stuck in a hot sweaty crowdy crummy shop in Bristol city centre with my last remaining notes getting wet in my clammy palm. No.

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drunk idiots

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 10:46:57 +0100

The one thing i hate about this time of year is all the idiots at work who get hammered and then turn up at the office completely incapable of doing their job. At the same time the Bristol ambulance service is stretched to breaking point and the fools around me think it's hilarious to fall over while drunk, fight while drunk, vandalse stuff while drunk.
Bah, humbug!

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